Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Date? Me?

You all know that my motto for 2009 is "Get Out of The Box" and I hope that you are already seeing the changes in me through this blog. It seems like I am deciding to do something different every month but since there is already SO MUCH that I am not doing -- I think there is LOTS of room for branching out. Today, I want to talk about an area that is COMPLETELY uncharted territory. I mean, this is like the pilgrims landing at Plymouth Rock & having to make nice with these people (Indians) that seemed like a whole other species to them. Dating & relationships that could lead up to marriage are something that are actually pretty foreign to me.

I think I went on 2 dates in High School. One was to Homecoming my sophomore year: this guy asked me if he could get me a mum because his long time girlfriend had broken up with him (and honestly, I think his mom had told him to find someone to give the mum to so she wouldn't have wasted her money!). I was in band so we didn't really get to do the whole 'Homecoming' experience. We still had to sit with our instruments in a formation & got to go out & have fun after the football game. I remember my mom drove us to Bennigan's for dinner (with some other people) and this guy proceeded to drink umpteen Dr. Pepper's just because -- he could?!? I didn't quite understand what THAT was all about but I think at that point I realized that I was not going to go out with him another time so it was settled. :D The rest of high school was pretty blah in the boy department. ALL... and I mean ALL of my guy friends were either gay or taken. I had fun with them though ~ I think I was totally convinced that their happiness was much more important than mine so I was always helping them find someone whether we were on a trip out of town or at the club (gay clubs). If you've ever watched Will & Grace, I am totally Grace (except for the Jewish and promiscuous part). SHE even likes CAKE too! :)

Anyhow, my other "date" was prom & I paid for EVERYTHING including his tuxedo (since I had asked him) AND since he was 2 yrs younger than me. But we were such good friends -- he was still really young.. and had a curfew.. and didnt' get to go to the after party with my friends and I. I wish I had a scanner so I could show you all our prom photo because one look at it will give you a clue about what I'm about to tell you... After high school (about a year) I was walking in the Cedar Springs/Oaklawn area here in Dallas when I hear my name being shouted down the sidewalk at me. No!! It can't be!!! Sure enough, my date was GAY and to look at his pictures now, I honestly dont' know how I didn't see it! (he majored in DANCE and is now on tour with someone famous, I'm sure.. still hot as all get out though!)

Fast forward from 1997 (then) to 2009 (now). I have been to college (twice). I have held 4 jobs in 8 years. I have been to and a part of more wedding showers and weddings than I care to mention (oh wait, there was cake there.. that makes it worth it!). I have become a believer in Jesus & stepped out in faith in soo many other areas that He has asked me to trust Him in. I'm having a really hard time with getting comfortable with building relationships with the male species. I can carry on conversations with any one of my friends' husband's for considerable lengths of time but feel like I would be speechless if I was one-on-one with someone that I really didnt' know all that well.

I guess the reason why I'm bringing this up is because I have been thinking about taking a step that is SO UNLIKE ME. MORE SO than the other ones!! I keep hearing these ads for these dating services (some of them Christian -- I wouldn't do it any other way!) and my interest has been peaked. There is a huge cost for some of them though and I am not one to just drop money on something at the drop of a hat without doing extensive research (up to and including ripoffreport.com LOL). I have been hearing about one on the radio for several weeks now & today decided to go check out their site. I watched the video tour that they have up there and it seems legit. The cost for a profile listing is reasonable AND they say they donate some of the money that you pay to Christian charitable organizations. I am waiting to get a response back from them because I emailed the 'contact us' link on the site to ask probably the most important question that I could not locate on their site. 'What is a Christian?' (yeah, that's probably pretty important to understand before signing up on a Christian dating site). Mind you, I KNOW what a Christian is however the world has strayed away from giving a true definition of Christianity so I want to see what their statement of faith says.

UPDATE: I received this response back from the "support team" at said dating service. Most of you who know me will be able to pick up RIGHT AWAY on the fact that this email made me cringe and want to run to my home office and grab my red pen & get to work!!!!!! This email alone may have made my decision.

Dear Magan
On behalf of (insert website here)
I apologize for the inconvenience you may be experiencing because of work of some links since the launching our site days ago. We thank you for your courtesy and patience while our technicians are working to overcome these delays.
Please, make Search, read user's profiles and you'll see that many of our users are real Christians :)))
Administration of (insert website here)

With that said, I'm just not sure. Would LOVE feedback from anyone who would like to comment. At times I have felt that sites such as these help people to "step outside" of the will of God & attempt to make things happen on their own. On the other hand, I don't see anything wrong with using various outlets to help yourself be in the right place at the right time so that you can, as Tony Evans says, "be locatable". Thoughts?


Anonymous said...

LOL!! ok magan, i'm sure you'll meet some true Christians- which means some of them are just fake! OMG, you should reply to them 'Thanks, but no thanks!" .. try another site.. dont give up hope on one erroneous tech that didn't know the extent of his response :) Izzi

Mrs. Dallas said...

As I have previously stated to you before Megan, it is all about personal preference. If you choose to check out online dating make sure it holds the preference that you have set forth. Example: a true Christian site, a genuine service for people to meet and not get outside of the "word". It is all about what makes you comfortable and your comfort zone. I feel that you are making good progress on stepping out and exploring new things. I say keep prayer in your life and your time will come soon.

The Royal Queen Dallas

Kevin & Cam said...
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Kevin & Cam said...

I do see what you're saying about that response you got back. Interesting...however, I feel that God can use "any" avenue. We have a "limitless" and "unrestricted" God! Again I am SO PROUD of you for stepping outside the box, but even more proud of the fact that you're doing your own personal research, and allowing God to STAY at the head of it all. Definitely continue to pray, seek God about EVERYTHING, and allow Him to speak to your heart. He will let you know if a particular site or what have you is NOT the right way. God works in unusual ways, and you would be SURPRISED on how He brings everything together. Embrace this journey, because it's God taking you to a new level in HIM...and like I've told you before, you're not having certain "desires" of the heart for these things that you haven't before for NO REASON...God is at work...;-)