The page is blank. The canvas has been wiped clean. The room has been cleared out. The proverbial walls have been put up mainly for protection; to keep the foolishness of this world out. Soon new wallpaper will be put up on those walls. It's already starting. A color and style that truly reflects the change that is... that HAS to go on inside of me. I want to be transparent. That starts with those closest to me though and keeps moving further and further out into the rest of the world.

I start out this way because I realized something over the past few weeks or so that is still sinking in. Nevertheless, it is there. This whole year (2009), I have talked about "My life outside of the box". Granted, I have done some new things this year that I haven't regularly done in the past but these are all OUTWARD appearances and signs. But has anything changed on the inside? I can honestly say that SOME things have changed on the inside but mainly just a growth of knowledge and information. I don't feel like I have let a lot of this stuff really sink in to where my heart, mind and attitude are truly changed because of it. I just got a sick feeling in my stomach when I typed that which tells me that what I'm saying is the truth - conviction. Luckily, if I will allow God to help - I CAN CHANGE! *Sigh* This is not going to be easy. In fact, there are some parts of it that will be downright rough and treacherous. Remembering these 2 facts first and foremost will help me change (Taken from Beth Moore's Believing God): 1) God is who He says He is 2) God can do what He says He can do.

I will elaborate more on these points in the near future and then ponder the 3rd one: I am who God says I am.

Cutting Out & Pruning

If you are reading this, you are part of a select few people that I am going to allow to read my thoughts on this blog and hopefully give words of encouragement or words of exhortation (when needed) from here on out. I value each of you as my friends & really you guys are closer than family so I hope that you will accept the challenge -- because I know it will help me in the long run.

For those of you that are new, this is my blog! I started writing off and on again about a year ago & hope to utilize more of the webspace that I have been given moving forward. My reasons for going private vary but primarily because I have noticed lately that I have some things that are weighing pretty heavy on my heart that I have wanted to write or talk to you all about... but didn't feel like sharing with the world!

So there you have it. If you would like to be removed from my list, please let me know. There will be no hard feelings and I totally understand since this is a responsibility that I have asked you to take on by reading and holding me accountable to a few things.

"A journey of a thousand miles, begins with the first step" -- Confucius